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Friday, 13 March 2020
This happens, you grow up with illusions, fantasies, dreams, you want to eat the world and that's fine, the problem is that as you grow that magic with which you saw the world is getting lost and you start getting drown in a world where a drop of water may be enough to do it. And what do they teach you? They teach you to endure it, to tolerate all the pain, all the hate, anger, everything bad in this world. And you just want to be that little six-year-old kid who was running into your mom's arms whenever you had a problem, cause it was so incredibly simple, but you grow up and you have to make decisions and nobody teaches you how to make those decisions, so chances are you'll mess most of them till one day you think you've learned how to make decisions, and guess what... no, So you go around walking like a simple human being, trying to resist another day, and when you have these little breakdowns, what do you do? You say to yourself: Not now, I don't have time, SOCIAL PRESSURES ARE SO MANY, that you don't have the time for some mental health. You hide what you feel because it's easier than dealing with your problems, it's easier to just hide it, until one day you can no longer stand it, that human being you see in the mirror is not you, you are full of scars that you want to cover with makeup, full of colours that aren't your colours, words that aren't yours and a voice that is not even your voice, because you have changed, they have managed to change you. And when you finally realise it, when you finally stand in front of the mirror to see you, you just want to tear off your skin to see if that will make your true self come out, and you see so many problems, SO MANY that you don't know where to start, you get drown It's okay, YES, IT IS. It's okay to be broken, cry, feel pain, but.. you have to let yourself feel, you cannot walk through life hiding your feelings all the time, you have a heart and that's great but remember that, even the strongest hearts sometimes need to cry, and that, that is BEAUTIFUL. source : Vivi Vivi wrote such a good entry & it give me chills. |
" Real name given as Hanis . You can call me hazel too. Some call me by the nickname , hans. blow the candle on the date seven eleventh . Graduated from computer science & information technology school of Universiti Putra Malaysia. A weird asian, a proud muslim, a very introverted girl and not so talkative as she only speak important thoughts she have in her mind. JK, I'm a certified yapper to those who can vibe lol A careless one and sometimes clumsy. Also slowmotion and blurr at one time. A good listener as always listen to people who won't listen to her. Patient one but sometimes immature. Not perfect as nobody is. An outgoing who loves travel , outdoor and challenging activities. Gaming, daydreaming, anime-ing etc on one of her to-do list. Have no determination in life and still searching for it. " 
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I. normal and healthy weight+body II. make my parents happy III. first class degree.. [2019's updates: I finally graduated.. with 2nd class upper :')]  December 2016 July 2019 October 2019 February 2020 March 2020 July 2020 December 2020 January 2021 August 2021 October 2021 August 2023 April 2024 February 2025 
Designer : Chili. x o x o |